Originally written by Mike Diver · 15 February 2007
Last night DiS sat down at home, a bottle of M&S red and some spaghetti before us, and flicked our telly over to channel three. Russell Brand! Not talking about his ball bags! It could only mean one thing: we’d tuned into the first live Brit Awards since that whole Sam and Mick fiasco.
Before we get into the whole Who Won What list thing, in an echo of this article, these are the things we learned from watching last night’s love-and-hate-themed awards ceremony on our boxes.
• Russell Brand’s hair really is that big.
• ‘Chelsea Dagger’ truly is a bag of shit.
• James Morrison, right, he’s really bad.
• Slutting yourself up, lyrically, in your latest songs and wearing a dress that barely conceals your jumper bunnies works wonders at awards ceremonies: see Nelly Furtado.
• Wearing a nice dress, smiling politely at photographers and doing a twirl on the red carpet doesn’t get you owt: see triple-nominated Lily Allen
• Hitting duff notes on the telly doesn’t matter when the viewers have already voted your single their favourite of the last year: see Take That.
• Fearne Cotton’s accent is well weird sometimes. Is she from London or Lancashire? Or, like, Greenland. What?
• Cat Power’s so much hotter than Beyoncé.
• Dressing up in silly clothes is amusing: see Arctic Monkeys’ acceptance videos.
• Orson? Really?
• Seriously, Britain: James Morrison is crap. Just stop it already.
And here are those winners in full:
British Male Solo Artist: James Morrison British Female Solo Artist: Amy Winehouse British Group: Arctic Monkeys Mastercard British Album: Arctic Monkeys - Whatever People Say I Am, That's What I Am Not British Single: Take That – ‘Patience’ British Breakthrough Act: The Fratellis British Live Act: Muse International Male Solo Artist: Justin Timberlake International Female Artist: Nelly Furtado International Group: The Killers International Album: The Killers - Sam's Town International Breakthrough: Orson Outstanding Contribution To Music: Oasis
DiScuss: Good? Bad? Ugly? Liam!?