Originally written by Mike Diver · 30 March 2007
Eat your cakes while you can, Kate Nash, because soon you'll be made to work really hard.
The Laaahndaaahn singer-songwriter-bore-core gurl - this just in: 'Caroline's A Victim' voted Worst Song Ever by me - has sealed a deal with Polydor imprint Fiction, home to New Yorkers wit' many cool pointz Yeah Yeah Yeahs and Irish/Scottish/dull rockers Snow Patrol. And some other bands. Probably.
Look, look at her MySpace. See: Record Label: FICTION. Ain't making this shit up, although how I wish I'd imagined that song. Caroline. Caroline. Caroline is a victim. Caroline. Caroline is a victim. Caroline.
Caroline is dead you witch. Shut up shut up shut up. AAARRRGGGHHH.
This just in: 'Caroline's A Victim' is her worst song, apparently. Go fish. Or go listen to someone else.