How Neurodivergent Musicians Process Music Differently

Unself, the new album by sludgy post-metalers Conjurer arrives in the wake of vocalist/guitarist Dani Nightingale's long-awaited autism diagnosis. Here, they speak to Emma Wilkes to lift the lid on how neurodivergence has shaped their life and relationship to music...

Aged 18, Dani Nightingale's friend asked to pull into a lay-by because they had a confession to make. Earlier in the day, he’d asked Dani a slew of unusual questions, claiming it was a Facebook quiz.

It wasn’t a Facebook quiz, it turned out. It was the autism quotient - a test that can indicate the presence of autistic traits.

All of this happened because Dani’s friend’s mum worked with neurodivergent children and had begun to wonder if Dani was autistic themself. In a different world, this could have felt life changing. In actuality, the impact was different, given Dani had no idea how to react to it.

“I had zero knowledge about it all other than the typical stereotypes that people have of neurodivergent people,” they say now, sat in an arch-shaped gallery inside the Royal Society of Arts in central London, the location of a special event celebrating Conjurer’s new album of extreme metal, Unself.

Unself, by Conjurer

9 track album

ConjurerConjurer

“With the friends I had and the age we were, we just didn't have the vocabulary to really talk about this kind of stuff. It was a mix of not knowing what autism is, and unfortunately, a lot of the time it being used as almost like an insult.”

The conversation fell to the back of their mind. They carried on with their life. Every so often, over the next decade, the question would circle back again as Conjurer took off:  Are you on the spectrum?

“I was of the mindset of ‘Well, I’ve got this far without knowing, so what’s the harm?’ Turns out there’s a lot of harm of not looking into it.”

In lockdown, the question returned, hovering in their mind more stubbornly given they had more time to themself. Their relationships were disintegrating around them. “[I thought], ‘If my friendships are starting to fall away and I don't really know who I am, then I should probably check something out’.”